Sunday, July 4, 2010

The Radio Is Garbage

This is my first Blog. No shit, right? Well, I have not been sleeping lately, and that has afforded me a lot of long thinkin' nights, nights in which I have no one to bitch to about random things. So begins SpaceJawsofDoom. If anybody ever reads this, feel free to give me feedback, share opinions, or just generally tell me to fuck off.

So I hear the radio all day at my job and it's just plain torture. That's all it is. I doesn't matter what station, because it is all just pure horse-shit. Once and a while I'll geet lucky and hear a Thin Lizzy jam if it's classic rock station day, or something, but usually it's "new" rock, i.e. Nickelback, Disturbed, etc. Oh and then there's "country music" days where we're all subjected to a bunch of thirty-something failed boy bands donning tight affliction-style cowboy outfits and adding a fiddle to there band and calling it country. Listen, if eat some astronaut ice cream, I don't go around telling everyone that I'm BuzzfuckingAldrin, so get off your horses, you fake cowboy fucks. Anyways, it's all just really bad. All these bands do anymore is shitty, nasal covers of once bad-ass rock tunes. Land of Confusion? Check. Bad Company? Check. Simple Man? Shit! Check. Write a song, you assholes, and quit letting all the real bands do all the work.

So what do I do? I try to listen to Pandora. It's awesome, right? Free radio stations playing music that I want to hear, right? Nope. Because I'm pretty sure Alkaline Trio is owns Pandora. Either that or Matt is polishing those Pandora dudes' knobs pretty regularly. No matter what band I enter in to hear, I hear one song by said band and then always some crappy Alkaline Trio Song. OK, I get it. They had a couple rockin albums 12 years ago. But whether I'm listening Bruce Springsteen or Misfits channels, Alkaline-fuckin-Trio always rapes their way in to the set. Am I supposed to still love this band? Because I don't. I think they ran out of fuel in 1999. Whatever. I guess I just can't be pleased.

It's the 4th of July. I'm still on probation. YAY! I'm gonna try to get into some sort of body of water today. Hopefully make out with a chick, if possible. That's the kind of shit you're supposed to do on this glorious day, right? Well, I'm off to go buy swimmin' trunks. Hopefully someone reads this.


  1. I've never liked the radio, and I suffer through work-related radio torture too (granted it's only 28 hours / week, but there's enough "country" in that mix to stain a nation).
    As for the insomnia, you should ask Tami Vandenberg if you can collect some hops. Dry them on a screen for a day or two, put them in your pillow, and allegedly they do help you sleep. Never tried it, but it sounds like a nice idea.

  2. The Adam I know doesn't buy swim trunks. He makes cut-offs out of whatever he's wearing or borrows something from someone's younger sister.

  3. Also when I posted that comment the verification code it made me type in was "pusies."